Party like it's 1989

“Well the years start coming and they don't stop coming…”

Forgive the Smash Mouth reference, but I’m nearing 40 years old and they were cool once upon a time. At least, I was led to believe they were…

Anyways…

I haven’t put words on screen for many months now and while I currently sit in a mountainous getaway where it currently sits -43 degrees and my enjoyment of a hot, hazelnut coffee continues to endure, I’ve enjoyed having some thoughts roll through my head as we contemplate another year.

Originally, I thought about podcasting this but I wasn’t sure that it even warranted that and, as I mentioned, it’s been awhile since I wrote anything so I thought I would just enjoy what I had available to me at the moment.

2021 was eerily similar to 2020 in far too many disturbing ways. For all the reasons that 2021 was going to be much different from the year previous, in actuality, 2021 was almost ever the same for me and that’s a little unnerving.

However, in an effort of reflection, let’s take a look back on the year that was.

Things Like This

For the commentary around 2021 being similar to 2020, I could probably make the same comparisons to 2019, 2018, etc. For the past couple of years, I’ve been wanting to do more with content creation, but the fact of the matter is, I haven’t and I think I’ve finally been able to find peace with the reasons ‘why’.

I’m bored. With the content itself. I just don’t get as excited about creating content about video games as much as I used to. But I also now understand why, which has led to the primary reason as to why the content isn’t there.

The reason I’ve created no content surrounding video games is because I haven’t played much in the way of video games.

I’ve spent more time planning, researching, exploring and doing anything and everything with video games, except for actually PLAYING video games. It’s such a damning concept. But the moment I came to that realization, the more things just clicked for me.

When I first explored the idea of content creation surrounding retro games, specifically, it was at a time when I was re-immersing myself back into the hobby and re-discovering old favourites and diving head first into nostalgia. It was fantastic, and it led to me playing a lot of games from times of yore, and then having the ability, desire and enjoyment about creating content around them.

But like many things, my mind raced faster than my abilities and project ideas, initiatives…it led me to always wanting to create bigger, better, more, etc. As I said, my ideas very quickly outweighed my abilities within the time available to me. This often did (and continues to) lead to many things not ever being completed or, in some cases, being started. 

That’s one element.

The other being what I said earlier…just not having enough experience with video games to really create content based off those experiences. See, I played a lot of games when I was younger, but between 1999 and 2010, I didn’t play much of anything. And I always thought that video game collecting would really help me to experience more stuff that I missed over those years, but the truth is I fell into the trap of buying and collecting games just to keep them on the shelf. After a few years, I dumped that element of the hobby as it didn't really lead to me playing more games, like I thought it would.

Truth is, I fell into the trap of replaying the same games over and over again; all the while, trying to create content based on games I hadn’t had much experience with or had interest in or even played.

In other words, it’s just a mess. Trying to create something out of nothing is a tough gig.

Definition of Insanity

Goes without saying. If you expect things to change without actually initiating said change, you really shouldn’t have much in the way of expectation.

Over the past couple of years, I’ve spent many hours (and dollars) tinkering and messing around with tech, software, and other means of playing video games but, again, without playing video games.

I’ve upgraded my PC to allow me to emulate older generation games (PS1, N64, etc.) in higher resolutions (improved textures, 4K, etc.)...I’ve invested in the MiSTer FGPA project so that I can enjoy a wide array of older generation games with greater compatibility on both modern televisions and CRT TVs…I’ve messed around with modding games and exploring different ways of altering games I’ve already played for new experiences…and I’ve created a vast library of assets for Twitch streaming along with ideas for becoming Affiliate with channel points and everything that goes with it…

I’ve done all these things to allow me to play video games or experience them in a different way. And yet, I’ve played less and less. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve enjoyed all of that time I’ve spent in doing it, but you can see where I’ve spent my time. And that’s the funniest thing of all, as I mentioned previously: I did all these things to enjoy video games without actually playing them and that’s the damndest thing of all.

I think it was my most recent podcast where I laid out a bunch of ideas and planned things that I was going to do to in order to help push things forward, but none of that has happened. Ironically, I find the more I put things “out there”, the less they actually come to fruition.

So, this is my way of saying that I’m not going to lay out ‘plans’ and ‘goals’ for 2022. I’m not going to sit here and say “I’m doing this and this and this over the next year”. It’s a fool's errand. At least, in my experience.

I will tell you what I’m likely NOT going to do, and that’s do much in the way of video game content creation in 2022. I may end up streaming more, but the video game YT videos likely won’t be a thing in 2022, nor will podcasts of any kind. 

When it comes to video games, my plan for 2022 is very simple.

Play.

New games, old games, in-between games…I just want to enjoy them again, without feeling the need to do anything with them.

Play. Enjoy. And get lost in them. I’ve done more of that in the past month and it’s been quite enjoyable.

Maybe, if anything, I’ll write a few words about them here or there as it comes to me.

Thanks for taking the time to read this, friends. I wish nothing but the best for you and yours in the upcoming year. And I enjoy the conversation. If nothing else, I look forward to more of that in 2022.

Cheers!